The job of a Best man
Being asked to be 'best man' at a wedding is a huge honour. Standing beside your brother or friend while he says his marriage vows is a big deal. It also comes with some responsibility - are you up to the task?
Get him to the church on time
If the bride is slightly late to the wedding, it is widely accepted as 'fashionably late' but I'm afraid the groom doesn't have the same leway. Especially if you're planning on popping to the pub before the service begins, it is vital the groom arrives at the ceremony on time (or at least before the bride!) As best man this falls to you, so we suggest setting an alarm, or three! Also note, at a civil ceremony the groom is required to meet with the registrars beforehand so don’t be late!
Put the groom at ease
Moments before the ceremony starts the groom is likely to be feeling slightly nervous. Try and take his mind off the magnitude of the event ahead. After the ceremony and formal photographs, with a drink in his hand he is sure to relax, but during the morning tensions could be high. One thing you can do is just talk nonsense with him - nothing in particular, nothing important, just general chit chat to keep him calm.
Look after the rings
Quite often it is the job of the best man to hold onto the wedding rings until the registrar asks for them during the ceremony. This is usually the most nerve-wracking responsibility because the rings could cost a lot of money but the sentimentally and symbolically even more is at stake. The rings are exchanged at a wedding as a symbol of never-ending love and commitment to one another. You wouldn't want to be the one to break that significance before it's even begun! Other parts of the job of best man can be quite fun and silly but this is one role to take seriously.
Usher people to the correct seats
Traditionally the bride's guests sit on the left and the groom's guests sit to the right of the aisle. Most people don't have a clue where they are supposed to go so you're on hand to usher them in the right direction. Even at more modern weddings where there isn't a 'side' there is generally an unspoken hierachy on seat placement with immediate family towards the front and work collegues at the back.
Help gather people for group photos
This one will depend on the photographer but some photographers like to ask for the assistance of the best man during the group photos. Trying to shout above the noise of 100 guests and gather them together for their photos is not an easy task. As it is most likely that you know a few more of the guests than the photographer, you can help point them out, approach them and round them up into position.
Make the groom laugh during portraits
On a wedding day we hope to capture lots of love and laughter. Some people can be quite anxious and awkward in front of the camera though so particularly for the portraits with the groomsmen don't be afraid to have some fun; break any tension the groom might be feeling and make him laugh for those natural, unforgettable photographs.
Do an unforgettable speach!
Although looking after the rings is a massive responsibility, most best men feel the pressure more when it comes to the speeches. Society has been made to think they need to be funny, rude, sweet and eye-opening, all in the space of five minutes. While it's good to put in some effort and write an entertaining speech, DON'T WORRY! Be yourself and stay true to the kind of relationship you have with the bride and groom.
Written by Eleth Mageehan, (c) 2021, all rights reserved.
